Everything about this time of year insists that you must give gifts and share joy, to be happy, to fall in love… But this fantasy is not for everyone – there are many people who suffer through the holidays, they grin and bear it, and just try to make it by… There are many people around the world who’s lives simply don’t change while the Season is near… there still won’t be enough food to eat, there certainly won’t be money for buying people presents, and for some, even just staying warm and dry will be a serious struggle.
You are allowed to feel however you feel at any time during your grieving period. Grief is different for everyone, and there is no right way to get through it. While I can’t take away the pain you’re feeling, there are some things you can do to work through your grief:
Honour your loved ones: Create a memorial or a shrine for your loved one – with some things they liked – figurines, a special pen, even a piece of their jewelry or clothing. Also place on the shrine a candle or some flowers. Perhaps you can have a photo of them as well.
Have a release ceremony: There are so many ways to release energy from our bodies and our minds. It is such a relief to be able to unload any heavy thoughts or feelings. You can also release your loved one – with the intention of allowing them to be free from this earth. You can do a release ceremony in a few ways:
My favourite way is to simply write out what I’d like to let go of on a piece of paper – and then burn it. I also have a Buddha Board – where you write with water, and as it dries, the image slowly disappears. Other ways to do this are to make a Chinese lantern and think about what you want to release as you let it float into the air. You can do the same thing by tying thoughts (written on a piece of paper) to a helium balloon.
Give to Others: Giving your time, money or resources to someone in need forces you to get out from under your own stuff. When you extend the hands of kindness to someone who is worse off than you are, you gain a new perspective on life.
Daily Rituals: Try something different. Start your day in a new way by getting up a little earlier, listening to a great podcast, guided meditation or reading a book on a new subject. Or you can try doing yoga or a meditation before you start your day. I have recorded a special yoga class you can take for free called: Yoga for Grief & Loss. I designed this class after my Mom passed away in 2014.
Remember This: Everyone grieves differently, and you don’t have to put on a fake happy face if that is not how you truly feel. You can deal with this holiday season however YOU need to. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s okay to let family and friends know how you’re feeling. Trust me, they genuinely want to be there for you – it’s just that most people don’t know how.
From my heart to yours ~ Sincerely & with Love, Nicole